filled with anxiety. how can queer have an aesthetic? does my identity do anything? what have i claimed? can femme actually be resistance or am i just a part of every other system of oppression and i’m too fucking self-righteous to see it? when will people stop assuming that i am straight? what do…
Our culture is nowhere close to being free from the confines of gender binary and hetero-centrism, and that’s not on your shoulders, even if it feels that way. You don’t have to purposely act/dress in a way that subverts traditional gender roles, ya know? (And you know this, but there is that pressure.) Do what makes youuu happy, as an individual, and fuck the haters. The fact that you are worrying about this stuff in a big picture kind of way means you’ve already won. DON’T STRESS, you are beautiful.
“A democratic morality should judge sexual acts by the way partners treat one another, the level of mutual consideration, the presence or absence of coercion, and the quantity and quality of the pleasures they provide. Whether sex acts are gay or straight, coupled or in groups, naked or in underwear, commercial or free, with or without video, should not be ethical concerns.”—Gayle Rubin, “Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality” (via rev)
about Nietzsche, (spelled that right on the first try, bia) and his idea that human nature constantly pulls us. All moral actions are a result of it. But where he sees selfishness as pure human nature, I see altruism. He critically notes that at the heart of all Western moralities is the command to “Love thy neighbor,” and anyone who would willfully hurt their neighbor is the least moral creature. The reason for this reaches beyond Christian mythology. It goes to the very heart of us. Why did we group together and build walls around ourselves, making cities? Because if the group is secure, so are the individuals within it. Why do we have children, excluding clear biological imperative? Perhaps for a selfish desire to perpetuate parts of ourselves— but having a child is investing in the group. (You would not willingly bring offspring into a world you would deem unfit for their survival.) Altruism is, in it’s own way, self-preservation.
I think deep down I am a hedonist, and that’s been tying me up in knots lately. Why does the world look down on women who choose to sleep around? Why is anyone not interested in monogamy looked at as damaged (men and women alike?) Why is marijuana still illegal? I feel like maybe the whole group would benefit if we embraced our hedonistic sides, or at least acknowledged them. Group preservation through true expression of self. If we don’t, I think we may tear one another apart. Moral judgment, which seems to be so deeply a part of Christian ethics, seems counterproductive to self-growth.
my boyfriend has scarcely spoken to me today and I’m not upset about it. Y U NO MAD, self? Is it because I can totally understand why he’s mad at me (being a depressed, sarcastic bitch on more than one occasion) or because I really don’t give a shit (probably a manifestation of the former)? I don’t know.
“And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women-except, of course-those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff.’ But for everybody else, it’s a win-win. Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years-whatever. But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know-actually, I take it back. The whole thing’s a disaster”—Tina Fey