There, I said it. And I understand that my position is an unpopular one since it concerns an industry that attributes so greatly to the “objectification of women.” But you know what? If that’s something you’re really concerned about, I want you to never read a “women’s” magazine again. I want you to cancel your Cosmo subscription and burn your Glamours and destroy every other periodical that aims to turn you into a clothes-buying, man-pleasing machine with “50 Tips to Spice Up the Bedroom!”
Of course porn treats women as objects: its the commoditizing of sex! Of course! Actors and pornstars? Of course they’re not people to us. They serve a purpose, fit a mold. But Cosmo is the packaging of an entire gender, of all woman-ness. It breaks down the female psyche into that which can be bought and sold and performed and blasted at the gym. And I’m sick of it. I’m sick of hearing women complain about how men treat women as objects when we’re doing it to ourselves on a more frightening and prolific level.
It seems that women look at porn as some monster, some other. It’s something normally progressive, sex-positive women shudder at. But I want you to put in Asian Buttsluts 3: Porking in Peking (no I don’t know if that’s a real thing) and not be scared. I don’t want you to feel bad when your boyfriend leaves it out on his dresser by accident. Porn is about fantasy, and almost all sexual fantasies are about power. What’s so great about being an adult is that you can discuss these ideas, watch them on the internet, and experiment with them in the bedroom without being a lesser woman. You can be spanked and slapped and cum upon within the context of consent (perhaps by the person who loves you most!) and not be less of a woman. But what I feel you can’t do is read Cosmo, or its various equivalents, and tell me that you’re still independent.
I just think it’s time that women did what they wanted, tried something new, and stopped hiding behind the shroud of clean-cut, pre-packaged, squeaky-clean-but-sounding-dirty sexuality. And if you watch porn and it does nothing for you, that’s fine. But don’t think it has to ruin gender relations or your personal sexual power— let Cosmo do that.