I’ve felt so lazy and unmotivated since I got back from London. Definitely need to find my Adderall and start taking that again. I basically wake up at 11 or noon, fuck around/watch TV/unpack a bit/do nothing of significance, go to work around 4 or 5, drink after work, come home around 3am, crash, start the cycle over again. I feel overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to unpack; this whole turning-a-house-into-a-home thing is not for me. It’s hard to get started because it seems like an endless project. I’ll just move again in a year or two and have to start this all over. The sad thing is though, is that I need a home, I need stability, I need structure and routines. As much as I love adventure and fucking shit up, I need balance. The maintenance aspects of life are so difficult for me. I just need to get my shit together. I feel guilty and disappointed in myself for wasting all this free time I have. I could be reading good books, cooking, going to museums, getting lunch with friends… buuut I’m not. I’m unpacking two boxes then watching Parks and Rec for 2 hours. SNAP OUT OF IT, RACHEL.